Let's play a game

Let’s play a game. I won’t say what it is just yet, but I can say, unlike old Monopoly and Scrabble boards that collect dust on countless shelves, this is a game many people play every day.

In fact, if you are reading this, there is a very good chance you already are playing. And if that is true, you may also have no idea you are…but I guarantee you will. Like many games, the goal is simple to understand…and like many games, achieving that goal (winning) can be frustrating and difficult. But it can also be rewarding. I will get into what the goal of the game is, but before I do, let me briefly explain some rules.

First, this game has a very large player count. We’re not talking about 6-8 players, either. Numbers can get into the double or triple digits…and adding players will not only make the game more challenging, but, also, more-thrilling! I’ll let you decide if that is a good thing…

Second, before the game begins, we break players off into teams of 1 or 2, and each team is assigned a captain. This next step is very important: At no time are teams allowed to speak with other teams unless it is done through each team’s captain. Should you break this rule, you may lose right away. Why, you ask? Because. It’s the rules. Stop asking silly questions.

Once teams are decided on, 80% of them must briefly step out of the room. Each of the remaining teams is given a random doodad and meets with their captain to discuss how desirable their doodad is on a scale of 1-12. with 12 being the most valuable. Keep in mind, each doodad is not the same. Some may be shaped beautifully or diamond-encrusted while others might look like they were fished out of a garbage can. Player Tip: It is advised the doodad value should take into account its look, size, and condition, however, this is just a guideline and you may choose to elect a completely different strategy.

Once all values are set, the other teams reenter the room, each rolling two dice and making note of the sum of their numbers.

Now the fun begins.

The goal of the game is to have a doodad when the game ends. Teams without one may only spend up to the sum of their dice to acquire one. However, teams who currently have a doodad MAY NOT win by possessing their own…they must purchase one from another team with the proceeds from selling their own. But each team needs to have one by the end of the game or they lose. An inherent problem, you ask? Oh…it’s not a problem! It’s the game! …and that is what makes it fun? I think?

One more caveat…teams who currently posses a doodad may not start selling it immediately after the other teams reenter. Please take the random buzzer out of the box at this time and press start. Also, if the Packers happen to be in the playoffs, nobody may sell anything at all. Just get a beer, some chips and dip, and a cheese-head and watch the Packers play.

BUZZ!! It was the first buzzer! One of the sellers may start selling their doodad! Which seller? I don’t know…fight among yourselves to figure it out.

Seller One has listed their’s at a value of 7, which, in theory, eliminates half of the buyers from purchasing it. Also, because it’s the first sale, every team who has a disposable 5 or greater wants in…all offering 5s and 6s to try to get a deal. The seller sees their 7 doodad is quite desirable, so they decide to hold off until someone wants to buy it for 7. Someone offers 6.5 and the seller says they need to think about it. The buyer says they will only offer 6.5 for the next minute. But out of nowhere, another team, afraid they will not have a doodad by the end of the game, quickly swoops in and offers 8. Sold!

BUZZ!! A second doodad is up for sale at 5. Again, players flock to it hoping to get a good deal and…BUZZ!! Whoa! A third doodad is up at 5! But wait…the second one looks like crap compared to this third one and they are both the same price? What the heck?! Players quickly move to Seller Three and start to examine their doodad…mesmerized by the Bedazzled job the seller performed on it. Seller Two sees this and, fearing they may never sell at 5, especially after seeing Seller Three, decides to lower their doodad’s value to 3. An unsuspecting buying team quickly swoops in and purchases it while players continue to be hypnotized by Seller Three. Buyer Nine is currently lost on I-94. Her GPS is broken and hasn’t made it to the game yet. Buyer Eight decides to ask 4.5 for Seller Three’s Bedazzled doodad…

BUZZ!! Seller Four is up at 12! BUZZ!! Seller Five is up at 6! Three doodads are up for sale now! Seller Seven sees Seller Five and really wants their doodad, but can’t purchase it until they sell their own. Buyer Four knows there is no way Seller Four is worth 12 but they really want that doodad…and decide to speak to Seller Four, directly, to negotiate a lower price. As this is against the rules, they quickly forfeit their position in the sale. In the meantime, Buyer Eight finds the Bedazzles on Seller Three’s doodad are falling off because Seller Three used cheap glue, and decides to remove their offer of 4.5 and wait for other options.

BUZZ!! Seller Six is up at 5! Buyer Five has 6 but is torn between Seller Six at 5 and Seller Five at 6…they don’t really like the color or shape of Seller Five’s doodad, but it is closer to the window, while Seller Six’s doodad is in a darker corner of the room but is much cheaper. All the buyers congregate around Seller Six, pushing each other out of the way while talking really quietly among their teammates for fear other teams will hear their desires to purchase. Buyer Nine finally arrived, but she needs to go to the bathroom first. Seller Four at 12 is getting worried because nobody else is looking at their doodad, being at the highest end of budgets.

BUZZ!! Seller Eight at 6! Half of the buyers around Seller Six flock to Seller Eight!

Shoot! A holiday song just came on the radio. We need to stop the random buzzer for now…

Isn’t this fun??

…we quickly found out this game is an emotional roller coaster, filled with more highs and lows than a hormonal teenager!

Buyer Eight has been waiting, patiently, examining all the doodads as they go up for sale. They think they know which one they want and decide to inspect Seller Five’s, again, at 6. It has been available to buy for a few minutes, but hasn’t attracted any buyers. Buyer Eight has 7, but was hoping to find a doodad between 4 and 5. Also, Seller Five doesn’t really want to play the game anymore and was thinking about quitting, so maybe Buyer Eight could get it for less? They decide to offer 4.5. But before they do, Buyer Six comes in and offers 4. Since Seller Five is an opportunist, and now sees a desire for their item that wasn’t previously there, they decide to counter both buyers at 5.5. Both buyers really want Seller Five’s doodad and give their next best offers. Buyer Six at 5.4 and Buyer Eight at 5.3. Seller Five comes back to both and asks if they are sure they placed their best offers. Why? Because Seller Five is a greedy bastard and wants more money, that’s why. They decide to play both buyers off each other. Buyer Six reluctantly goes up to 5.5, and fully accepts the seller’s offer. Seller Five returns to Buyer Eight and asks if they are sure (*wink wink*) they can’t go a little higher if they really wanted the doodad? Jeez! Seller Five is really milking this! Buyer Eight is worried because they are already over their budget, but really want Seller Five’s doodad and offers 5.6. Buyer Six is nervously pacing a hole into the floor, waiting for Seller Five to respond. Seller Five, knowing 5.6 is better than 5.5 accepts Buyer Eight’s offer! Sold!

Crazy, huh?

Yep! That is what we discovered when we entered a little game called “Let’s Buy a House!” We never thought the real estate market would be as complicated or difficult as the last paragraphs were to read…but let me tell you, we quickly found out it was and this game is an emotional roller coaster, filled with more highs and lows than a hormonal teenager! How did we get through it? By trusting our captain (our realtor), trusting each other, and trusting God. We were Buyer Eight. and our doodad is a wonderfully charming home in an awesome location that will be perfect for us!

These stories will document our endeavors, two soon-to-be newlyweds, as we traverse the real estate and home ownership highways. It will focus on searching for, buying, renovating, and moving into our first home together, and highlight the ups, the downs, and the lessons learned along the way.

We have so much to be thankful for already, though. As it was the first time either one of us has played this game, in the end, we TOTALLY won!